If you happened to go on YouTube yesterday, you may have noticed that the top banner ad was showcasing Tom Cruise’s next, original, and apparently awesome sci-fi thriller Oblivion. If you didn’t take the time to click the ad, get redirected to a bland website where you had to click another ad, and end up on iTunes trailer site don’t worry. You missed absolutely nothing. Well no, you missed a good laugh at Tom Cruise and Morgan Freeman.
The trailer was terrible. I’m not saying the movie is going to be terrible, but the trailer is as god awfully cliché and predictable as you can get. In my opinion, Oblivion was made just for Tom Cruise to talk in a funny voice and saying one liners for a little while longer.
Some of my favorites:
“The QB throws a Hail Mary… TOUCHDOWN”
“This is Jack Harper, I’m good to go”
At this point we need to pause and appreciate the arguably decent-looking girl telling our good ol’ pal Jack “Not to take any chances”. I do surely hope that he heeds this warning and does not do anything stupid to jeopardize the mission and cause a fantastical war and/or investigation into a dark past of a post-apocalyptic Earth.
Back to the quotes:
Tom Cruise squints eyes and stares off into the distance
“They are human!”
“How do you know my name!”
Slams glass door “What have you done?”
“WHO ARE YOU?”
“I’m not gonna do that”
“This is the only way”
So now that I got that off my chest, the rest of the trailer is acting as your standard 21st sci-fi. Decent special effects, famous actor who was awesome in the 80s and 90s wearing funny attire (proudly portrayed by Morgan Freeman in funny glasses), and unnecessary pulse pounding music for a seemingly bland concept. Yes I understand that the internet told us the Mayans are going to make us die in a couple of days, but that doesn’t mean all our sci-fis need to deal with post-apocalyptic worlds. As of now Oblivion is on my skip list. But hey, maybe this could be a Minority Report in disguise.